A Gide to Jewish Wedding Tradition

Before describing the ancient Jewish wedding traditions, it will be helpful to get familiar with the terms.

You for sure wonder how an Orthodox Jewish wedding ceremony looks like. You might be curious why the chatan (groom) breaks a glass by a Jewish orthodox wedding under the Chuppah? Or what is a Chuppah at the first place? There are many more Jewish wedding customs, like reading the Ketubah (what's that?) wearing a Kittel (getting even more interesting...) and a Tallit (Prayer shawl).

Jewish wedding tradition terms:

Chattunah - wedding

Chattan - groom

Kallah - bride

Kabbalat Panim - reception

Badeken - covering

Chuppah - marriage canopy

Kiddushin - Betrothal, Chattan giving ring for Kallah

Ketubah - marriage contract

Yichud - union

Sheva Brachot - seven blessings

Seudah - meal

Before the wedding

One of ancient Jewish wedding traditions is that the Chattan (groom) will not meet the Kallah (bride) from a week preceding the wedding. The reason for this Jewish wedding custom is that the Chattan and Kallah should have a fresh new feeling of love for each other. By a few very ultra-Orthodox Jews the tradition is not to meet at all during engagement (the engagement will last for approximately six month to a year).

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Kabbalat Panim

Jewish orthodox weddings will start with a Kabbalat panim, a reception. It will be for men and women separate. The Chattan will greet his guests, who will sing and toast for him. The Kallah will sit on a throne and greet her guests. Light refreshments are served. There is a Jewish wedding tradition for the mother of the Chattan and the Kallah to break a plate by the Kabbalat Panim. The reason for this Jewish marriage custom is to show the seriousness of the commitment. Just like a broken plate can't be fully repaired, - a broken relationship can't be fully repaired.

Badeken

The chatan will dress a Kittel, a traditional white robe. The Kittel also worn on Yom Kippur, and a after a persons death he is buried with it. It resembles royalty and cleanliness of sin. The Chatan will then go to the Kallah (the Ashkenazi Jewish wedding tradition is that the Chatan is accompanied by his family) and put a veil on her face. The kallah will wear the veil till after the chupah. The veil is reminiscent of Rebecca (Rivka) covering her face before marrying Issac (Yitzchok, Genesis, 29). This Jewish wedding tradition is also to show the idea that the kallah is expected to be modest, and her modesty will bring a blessing in to her new home.

Chuppah

The Jewish wedding tradition is that the wedding ceremony takes place under the chuppah. It resembles the home of Abraham and Sarah that was open from four sides to accept guests. Some will traditionally have the chuppah outside, under the stars to remind Gods blessing to Abraham that his children be futile and bright as stars.

The wedding customs under the chuppah vary. Whereas in some areas the chatan will wear a Tallit, some will put a bit of ash on the chatans head, to remind the loss of the Jewish temples. The kallah will wear a modest gown and circle the chatan seven times. This resembles the seven days that the world was build, so will the home the new couple build be blessed by Hashem. Kabbalists explain it that there are seven walls of evil that surround a person before marriage that falls when the kallah circles the chatan.

Kiddushin

In Jewish law, marriage takes place when the chatan gives a ring to the kallah. This is called kiddushin. There are a few Jewish wedding traditions on which type of ring to give. All are in common that it will be a simple ring. The kallah does not give a ring for the chatan by a Jewish orthodox wedding.

Breaking the glass

Orthodox Jews always yearn for the rebuilding of the Temple and the coming of Messiah. Therefore by every joyous event something will be done symbolize the destruction of the temple. The chatan will break a glass with his right leg.

Ketubah

After the kiddushin the ketubah will be read. It will be read most of the time by the Rabbi leading the wedding ceremony or by another prominent family member. The ketubah is an ancient form that just needs to be filled in the chatans and the kallahs name. It can be found in any local Judaica or online.

Sheva Brachot

After the reading of the ketubah the seven blessings of marriage will be recited over a glass of wine. The blessings are recited by family members and guests. The cup of wine will then be drank by the chatan of the kalah.

Yichud

To symbolize unity and marriage, the chatan in the kalah will enter a room privately and lock it. Two witnesses will stand outside of the room for about five to ten minutes to see that they stayed in the room. This finalizes in Jewish law the act of marriage.

Seuda

By ultra-Jewish orthodox weddings the Seuda will be segregated. By some modern orthodox weddings the meal will be mixed while the dancing will be segregated. Whenever you attend a Jewish wedding make sure to find out in advance what to expect. Dress modestly according to customs and have fun! Enjoy the ancient Jewish music, see how family pictures are taken and learn for yourself on Jewish wedding traditions.

Read about the ufruf ceremony on the Shabbat before the wedding

Orthodox Jewish ancient wedding traditions Home Page

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